THE STEREOTYPES – ‘MEN NEED TO BE IN CONTROL’ (VASECTOMY – STERILIZATION)
It is suggested that sterilization requires grieving. All sterilization involves a loss – a loss of fertility. Though it may be by vasectomy or tubal ligation or naturally, as at the menopause, it is not necessarily welcomed. Mr G. was left numb and empty after the procedure. It was not acceptable for him to be angry with his wife for pushing him to do it. Although there was some camaraderie and group support in ‘joining the club’, he needed help to see why he went off sex and is only now enjoying it again two years later.
What features of the grief reaction should be expected. Emptiness, denial, anger and later readjustment to a world that will never be the same. This is not a time to hand over control on the spur of the moment. Doctors are sometimes asked by a partner to arrange vasectomy for the spouse. It is essential to determine how the request has come about; perhaps interviewing the man alone. Doctors may be asked for advice when a choice for a vasectomy or tubal ligation seems even handed. An important parameter to consider is to identify who would grieve least from losing their fertility.
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